How does she do it?

I don't see myself as a supermom but I get asked a lot how I balance everything. Some days I feel like I'm juggling and barely keeping the balls in the air. Other days its seems so easily and simple I don't think twice about it. I've already posted about my schedule and keeping organized this post is more about keeping your sanity.
Sometimes I see moms complaining and think to myself "We want to be martyrs because that's what we are used to hearing from other moms for generations" I think we make it hard on ourselves when it doesn't always need to be. Here's my tips:

#1: Make A Schedule.

One thing I do is give myself a "clock out" time. After this time of night I'm off so to speak. Ill cook dinner and tend to my kids if they get out of bed, are sick, or had a bad dream just like a mom that works outside of the house. However I don't do anymore housework. Once my boys are in bed for the night I give myself 30 more mins to finish up the end of the day stuff like vacuuming and cleaning up the kitchen and then I'm off. The rest of my night is to have time to watch TV or movies, read a book or one on one time with my husband. Granted I still don't go to bed before midnight usually but that's because I'm a night owl. I also use this time at night to work out if I didn't have time that morning.

#2: Teach your kids to entertain themselves

Kids having the ability to play alone is just as important as you playing together and them playing with other children. They need to feel secure enough to be self sufficient in some areas. This also helps when you need a mental break during the day or you need to tend to housework, work out, or make dinner.

#3: Empower your kids to make their own choices and teach them through daily life and play.

If you're trying to cook and your kiddo is clinging to your apron then sit them up on the counter at a safe distance and teach them how to cook. Cooking is also a great math activity as well. If you're cleaning then give them a towel, have them help load or unload the dishes (Toddlers can handle the plastic unbreakable stuff) If they're too young for that invest in a wrap. They are life savers!

#4: Pick your battles

Ask yourself how much this will this matter in the long run then let it go if you can. Clothes don't always have to match and sometimes breakfast for dinner and mashed potatoes and green beans for breakfast is ok.                                                                                               

#5: Take a time out when you need it

Time outs aren't just for kids. If you feel like your head is going to explode, they can play alone for 5 mins while you take a few deep breaths

#6: 15 mins is your best friend
Grab your to do list and work on it for 15 mins then stop to play. By the end of the day everything is done and youre not overwhelmed.

Most of all take one day at a time and enjoy your babies because the won't be little long. I do a good job balancing everything usually and sometimes I don't. I'm lucky to have a supportive husband and family to help on the days I have cracked. So be gentle with yourself and do the best you can.

Organizing and Routine

It occurred to me that I am incredibly anal about my daily routine and being organized. I'm a control freak, I admit it, I spent a few years being a run away from everything freak and it didn't benefit me very well so I like to have things done. I wanted to share my routine and some resources so other mamas trying to get some control on their day can get some ideas.

One of my favorite resources is FlyLady. She really gave me a foundation for my routine. I downloaded her app for my Android phone for a bit and then went with a new app call Chore List that I have customized for myself.
1. One of my favorite tips is instead of having a laundry day as soon as you wake up put a load of laundry on, switch and fold it (I'm terrible about the folding part so I have a folding day) It keeps from getting overwhelmed with a ton of dirty clothes.
2.Swish and Shine is another Fly Lady tip. While brushing your teeth during the rinse, wipe down your bathroom counter and mirror, when you're done and leave grab the dirty clothes to start for a wash. BAM! Your bathroom is always company ready!
3.I have 3 kids so I reserve floors and dishes for the last part of my day. While the boys eat dinner and the baby naps or I'm wearing him I wipe counters and load the dishwasher. Once they're in bed I run the vacuum and mop. No point in doing housework twice.
4. Delegate, Delegate, Delegate! My oldest is almost 5 yrs old, he has his list of contributions to the house. He's mainly responsible for the cleanliness of his own room. He shares with his brother who is only 19 mos so M helps a little. I'm teaching him to pick up and put away. N feeds the dog in the morning, his fish, takes care of his room, cleans his dishes from his spot at the table, and at the end of the day he picks up and puts away his toys with M's help. As the younger boys get older they will have their own set of responsibilities.
5. When you absolutely don't feel like cleaning do 15 minute bursts. Pick a chore and set a timer, clean for only 15 minutes then relax for 15. You can do anything for 15 mins.
6. Give yourself a "time off" My workday ends when I put the kids to bed. By bedtime I enjoy the nighttime routine with my boys then vacuum and I'm "off". No more dishes or folding etc. This gives you 3-4 hours depending on when you go to bed for adult time with your spouse or just you time.
7. Make sure your kids have a set bedtime routine. Consistency is imperative for this. Children need routines and stability. Giving yourself time off at the end of the day hinges on your kids ability to stay in bed and be comfortable going to bed on their own.
8. If you have a "big" cleaning day (Mine is usually Saturdays) Don't schedule errands for that day if possible. No reason to overwhelm yourself.
9. Never feel bad about saying "NO". Your family, your relationship, yourself, and your home comes first. Helping friends and extended family come second. Don't over extend yourself.
10. Set up a household hub station. I used the dishwasher rack idea from Pinterest. I have a binder with family info and folders for incoming mail, medical info, reciepts, warranty info, etc. It keeps everything right where you need it.

Perry Family Hub

Perry Family Hub

 Here's is my checklist routine to give you an idea:
DAILY:
Make the bed first thing (Makes your room feel better and you instantly feel like you've accomplished something)
Start a load of laundry
Help with toy clean up
Wash dishes
Clean counters
Take out trash and recycling
General living room clean up
Vacuum Living room
Before bed make breakfast for the older boys and set up bottles for over night feedings for Baby J
Set coffee maker up

WEEKLY
Clean Bathrooms
Vacuum bedrooms
Mop
Change bed linens
Sweep front porch
Fold and put away clothes
Water plants
Wipe sliding door glass
Clean bedrooms
Dust
Clean kitty box

BI-WEEKLY
Vacuum furniture
Clean Playroom
Clean Microwave

MONTHLY
Clean windows
Wash out trash cans
Clean fridge
Wipe walls, pictures etc
Wash curtains
Organize and throw out papers
Disinfect toys and rotate old toys

I hope this helps anyone get a routine of their own going. Downloading the apps def helps and Fly Lady is a wonderful resource!

Small changes for the better

Maybe it's the mostly vegetarian diet I'm on as apart of my clean eating, maybe it's the daily workouts or the twice a day showers because Im weird and have to shower before bed no matter when I took a shower last.. Anyway I have noticed some differences in the last 4 days.

I'm being more patient in general but especially with my parenting. I always thought when people said you had to have "you" time or take care of yourself first to be able to take care of your kids they meant time away from my kids, more than I was willing to do. But I understand now that it doesn't have to mean that. I am still in the dreading the workout phase a little but throughout my day I notice I'm able to implment the Love and Logic practices so much easier, AND I haven't yelled in a week. I'm really proud of myself in that area since I have a tendency to be a "yeller"

I have a much higher sex drive. I think mostly because I have more energy and confidence just knowing that I may not look any different yet but that I'm committing to being different.

See above. I have more confidence Haha. I'm also being more outgoing. I feel a bit f my old self but better returning.

I'm sleeping better, when I can sleep. Baby J is still waking up at least once a night for about 2 hours.

We had to skip this morning so we are about to do our workout tonight instead. If there's time for Facebook or Blogging there's time for Insanity. 

Doing it for myself

This is me. 29 years old, after 3 kids, 2 of them in less than 2 years and a miscarriage in between the 2. This is my "Before" picture. 172 lbs and 5'8" This is what I wont be again.

Im on day 3 of Insanity and everyday while Im pushing through the pain, sweat, inability to breathe, I think of my reasons Im doing this and I repeat them over and over to myself.
Im doing this:
So I dont have to wear 2 shirts or any shirt that could double as a flow-y maternity shirt to hide my stomach.
For the gap between my thighs and the V on my hips
For no muffin top
Because I will not have the excuse "Well I have had babies" I'm doing it BECAUSE I have babies and they deserve a mommy that plays with them, not watches from a chair.
For the Haters. For those people that think I can't or won't or that I will give up. The ones that think I'm not strong enough or dedicated enough.
Because I refuse to quit and give up on myself
Because everyday I have the eyes of a 4 year watching me stop, take a breath and make a choice to keep going when I think I can't go anymore. Parenting is mostly by example, I wont set the example that giving up when it hard is okay.
I feel amazing after I am dripping with sweat, barely breathing, red-faced, showering and lathering up my girly smelling soap. It reminds me I can kick ass and be feminine in the moment
So I dont have to wear a tankini and I can wear a bikini ;)
To make his jaw drop, so he whispers "wow" when he sees me, so we can live life together and not just talk about it from the couch.
Because today after only 3 days of pushing myself I achieved 2 goals and it proved to me it's worth it, and I CAN DO it.
 

Identity

I've been struggling a lot lately. You spend 9-10 months watching your body slowly grow and change from a woman into a mother the within hours its back to being woman not womb but not the woman that you were before.. A stretched, bloated warped version of what it was before and people expect you should just bounce right back within 6 weeks. That you should be back to being YOU again after that. That's where I'm struggling... Ive been pregnant through 2 successful pregnancies and a miscarriage for almost 2 years now. And within 5 hours I'm not a blossoming pregnant woman, a birthing Goddess.. I'm a stretched warped version of me. I love being a mom and I'm struggling with never being able to be pregnant again, leaving my 20s and my childbearing years and embarking on a new phase of my life. I'm struggling with not knowing who I am for sure right now or if I need to fit into a box of one type of person. Can most days I be the hippie Karen I love so much and the some days wear lipstick and heels? Can I be super fit and strong and feminine and fun? Do I have to choose just one? Where do I find the balance of "me" time and meeting new friends and being mommy to my boys? In the course of a birth so much seems to change and there are so many expectations I put on myself for perfection. I know this is a phoenix phase, if I wasn't sure the heat waves Ive been having give it away.. I'm about to burn and new me will emerge I just hate the transition time right before where nothing makes sense and I don't feel like I have an identity

The arrival of Baby J

Baby J joined our pack @ 12:59pm on May 19, 2012. This labor and delivery was by far the fastest but most challenging one I have gone through. As I enjoyed my hospital stay I thought about the little moments I wanted to blog and never forget.
We checked into the hospital at 7am on Saturday morning. They got my IV in and checked my cervix, I was at 3cm before the pitocin had even started which was a huge start for us considering with my last 2, my labor stalled at 3cm for 4-5 hours but I was already there. I made the decision to not get an epidural until I was at 5cm to keep labor progressing. My doctor comes in by 9am and breaks my water, then the contractions really start hitting hard. Briefly I feel back labor going and my doula (who is amazing by the way) has me sitting in different positions to help him rotate and right about that time the iPod is hooked up with our birthing music. One really memorable moment for me was sitting on the edge of the bed, leaned forward onto J during contractions and having him whisper in my ear how great I was doing and how strong I was. I felt like we were completely entangled and alone in those moments. The next day I saw this picture and it was a perfect representation of that moment

Another moment was being in my bed in Sims position rocking back and forth hoping he will turn and having a contraction, wondering if I can do this at all and I hear Alicia Keys Superwoman queue up on my iPod. I just sing to myself "Cause I am a superwoman, yes I am" as the contraction peaked. In that moment I was.
I did have to laugh at one part waiting to be able to push when 'Under Pressure' came on and I thought "How fitting!" Haha!
After 10 mins of pushing and an epidural that did not numb my vaginal area I was actually vocal through pushes and Baby J was laid in my arms. He is beautiful.
Over the next couple of days I come across some nurses from the nursery make a few comments about my choice to formula feed and a lactation consultant that was supremely helpful and made me really happy. I was really surprised that one nurse made a comment to me that Baby J was eating too frequently and the comment "He's not a breastfed baby, you don't have to feed him on demand, he should only eat every 3-4 hours" came about. Ummm... I'm fairly sure I'm not going to withhold food from my baby when he's hungry because my schedule says its not time to eat yet.. Who does that?! And this woman had obviously never met one of my boys before. Then another nurse that asked if I wanted him brought right back after his lab work or if she should just keep him and until his next feeding and feed him to which I replied "Bring him right back please, we feed him on demand so there isn't a set time he will eat again" She looked at me completely shocked like I had said I wanted to eat him for breakfast or something. Why is that weird? But lastly the awesome lactation consultant. One of my nurses had sent her in to answer a few questions about drying my milk up as it came in and she was so very pleasant and answered all of my questions without trying to change my mind or be pushy whatsoever. I loved her for that.
Overall my experience at Mercy for the 2nd time was great. The staff for the most part were awesome as usual. I am sad and relieved its over. I have felt the baby blues wash over me right after he arrived and I haven't quite been able to shake it off yet. I'm sure I will. I have struggle with it the most today. I feel like I should feel more empowered by my birth experience. Right now I feel scared and a little overwhelmed at being a mommy of 3, I feel guilty I need to depend so much on J over the next few weeks, I feel sad that this was the last time seeing my baby for the first time and being tucked away in our hospital room, tummy nap cuddles, and studying every feature on their face for hours. Soon J will be running crazy with his brothers with only enough time to briefly stop for a hug and even sooner after that they will all just be too busy. I want to freeze time right now, but that isn't possible. All I can do right now is soak it all in, cry when I feel the need to and lean on J just like I did during labor.
Baby J is a great baby, hes calm, quiet and sweet. He's bigger than M was at birth but he seems so much smaller because his features are so petite. And he looks a bit like me (finally!) yay! I am a truly blessed mama. I just hope I kick the weepy feeling soon.

Before you were born,. we dreamed of you, we imagined you,. we prayed for you. Now that you are here,. We hope for you, we love you,. we Thank God for you.

Giving birth

   Leading up to giving birth is such an anxious time. You scared, nervous, unsure, and impatient. There is a sense of fear but also anticipation. Giving birth as a metaphor can be used in so many areas of life. The nervous anxiousness before starting something, anything, new.
   I feel double the anxiousness recently and I just hit me why. Baby J is our last baby, so in the midst of being anxious and wondering when he will be here, what he will looks like, how he will fit into our family, will M try to hit him with something (probably..), how will I be not only to a mother of 3 now but 3 boys etc. I am realizing I am about to give birth to a new version of me. No more pregnant K ever. I'm leaving my 20's behind also. Ive noticed my tolerance for some of the actions of my friends recently getting lower and I'm increasingly getting less tolerant of people's bullshit. I feel myself standing on the edge of a cliff looking down and across wondering what "me" is waiting on the other side of having this baby. Will I lose more friends? Will I find a voice? Will I stand up for myself more? Hopefully. So in being curious as to what my new son will be like I'm also curious as to what the new me will be like as well. I'm excited but scared for both.