Im a sensitive Love & Logic mommy & wife that randomly dances & crazy shakes throughout my day. I talk to my kids like they're grown up bc I dont think they're idiots just bc they're small. My hair never stays perfect. I am clumsy. I cloth diaper,wear my kids,believe in vaccines & bottle feeding. I talk to myself. I created my own version of spiritual beliefs by taking a page from everyone. I sing whenever I can. This is me. Im learning to love who that is.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
It's Time to see the Faeries Again
What does it truly mean to be childlike? How does it make us have more faith? Or believe more intensely? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. How perfect every child is at birth, completely innocent and trusting. As they get older and become toddlers, they are imaginative, loving, and non judging. Yet we look at our children and tell them that the faeries they see don’t exist, the colors of the rainbow can’t be used for any particular thing, your clothes much match perfectly, that being dirty from a hard days play isn’t an accomplishment, singing made up songs and dancing around to the music in your head can’t be done everywhere. After all what will other people think? I look at my son and I look at other children. I look at his compassion, his imagination, his own made up language. The fact he will smile at everyone and talk to any person that talks to him. He doesn’t know yet to judge others based on their color, size, gender, clothes, houses, appearance.. Those are things we teach them. We teach them to worry about what others think, to worry about being judged as we judge others. We TEACH them you aren’t complete without the better house or car. We show them money makes you happy and to compete with the Jones’ so to speak. Our children are born perfect and we shape them to be less like God and more like us, unhappy and seeking fulfillment. When do we step back and look at our children and realize God has blessed us with them to TEACH US. Teach us how to pray, how to laugh, how to let go, how to focus on love and trust people based on their actions and not there appearances.
How silly we are to overlook those things. How often do we stand back and make fun of the eccentric and quirky people that march to their own drummer and seem perfectly content? Or tell our children that their imaginary friends don’t exist? When did we lose our childlike qualities that made us so happy and carefree? Ghandi said it best “Be the change you wish to see in the world” Sing loudly in the shower, dance with your child in the supermarket, wear the outfit you want to wear, listen to the music you want, talk to that imaginary friend again, smile at a perfect stranger, open the door for the person that may have just scowled at you, strike up a conversation with someone that looks lonely. You never know how you make an effect on that person’s life. Be the change. Look at the innocent child and know that all your fears, your worries, your insecurities with your body and looks, are all learned and taught. Know that you are beautiful because God made you and pass that along. Dance to the different drum and change the world by seeing one fairy at a time.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Journey
Rain sat back and thought of her life over the past few years. Shes listening to music and looking at old photos. She thinks as the lyrics echo in her head of the mistakes she made, of her choices and thoughts. Of the people she has pushed away, hurt, or alienated. She wonders when she prays if God hears her, she wonders if He does, maybe he just turns away. Why would He care? Or was she really THAT bad? She thinks about all the judgements she's made on people in the past and then down the road was in their same situation, making the same choices.. who knew.. As the song continues and her tears fall beautifully with the notes of the piano, shes pulled out of the thoughts of her own head now actually hearing those lyrics. They comfort her with the words of a God that will never leave her, no matter what. This makes her cry harder. She leans back and lights herself a cigarette and places her head in her hands. Shes never felt so alone, The song has ended and its silent. A soft breeze blows through her window on her face and she hears a thought in her head "I would never leave you, especially during such an important journey" Instinctively she responds "How do I know? I have never felt so alone, no one cares and I can see why." "You are never alone! Why would I leave you without someone to watch over you? A parent would never leave their child without someone to care for them. So why would I leave my child alone? Never doubt the infinite love I have for you. This my dear is your path, you cleasing fire, your journey through the wilderness so to speak. You must go through this to learn your lessons and have a stronger character. You must be strong so that I may use you for the purpose I intended" Rain takes a long drag from her cigarette and exhales slowly. The things in her head makes her feel better however she's realizing she now talking to herself.... "Great" she thinks, "I've now completely lost my mind, I'm not only talking to myself, but I'm answering myself too.." The voice stops her again this time less soft and tender but with a tone of laughter "OH My darling you aren't talking to yourself, I come in many different ways, right now your mind isn't wrapped in the 100 miles a minute so I am able to come to you this way, I usually present my answers to you in dreams or signs, and most harshly lessons of life. Be comforted that you have greater things to accomplish in life and that I am always here. Have faith in that." The tears rolled down her face as she put out her cigarette, but now they were tears of happiness. She felt comforted by the voice. She knelt down Thanked God and asked for forgiveness for all the things she had done and asked for the ability to forgive herself. As she settled in bed that night she realized that this is only the beginning for the journey and to be stronger she much go through more trials and lessons. A diamond is only as good as the coal and the pressure it was put under. She prepares herself for what may be to come and falls asleep.
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