Friday, July 3, 2009
Rain sat back and thought of her life over the past few years. Shes listening to music and looking at old photos. She thinks as the lyrics echo in her head of the mistakes she made, of her choices and thoughts. Of the people she has pushed away, hurt, or alienated. She wonders when she prays if God hears her, she wonders if He does, maybe he just turns away. Why would He care? Or was she really THAT bad? She thinks about all the judgements she's made on people in the past and then down the road was in their same situation, making the same choices.. who knew.. As the song continues and her tears fall beautifully with the notes of the piano, shes pulled out of the thoughts of her own head now actually hearing those lyrics. They comfort her with the words of a God that will never leave her, no matter what. This makes her cry harder. She leans back and lights herself a cigarette and places her head in her hands. Shes never felt so alone, The song has ended and its silent. A soft breeze blows through her window on her face and she hears a thought in her head "I would never leave you, especially during such an important journey" Instinctively she responds "How do I know? I have never felt so alone, no one cares and I can see why." "You are never alone! Why would I leave you without someone to watch over you? A parent would never leave their child without someone to care for them. So why would I leave my child alone? Never doubt the infinite love I have for you. This my dear is your path, you cleasing fire, your journey through the wilderness so to speak. You must go through this to learn your lessons and have a stronger character. You must be strong so that I may use you for the purpose I intended" Rain takes a long drag from her cigarette and exhales slowly. The things in her head makes her feel better however she's realizing she now talking to herself.... "Great" she thinks, "I've now completely lost my mind, I'm not only talking to myself, but I'm answering myself too.." The voice stops her again this time less soft and tender but with a tone of laughter "OH My darling you aren't talking to yourself, I come in many different ways, right now your mind isn't wrapped in the 100 miles a minute so I am able to come to you this way, I usually present my answers to you in dreams or signs, and most harshly lessons of life. Be comforted that you have greater things to accomplish in life and that I am always here. Have faith in that." The tears rolled down her face as she put out her cigarette, but now they were tears of happiness. She felt comforted by the voice. She knelt down Thanked God and asked for forgiveness for all the things she had done and asked for the ability to forgive herself. As she settled in bed that night she realized that this is only the beginning for the journey and to be stronger she much go through more trials and lessons. A diamond is only as good as the coal and the pressure it was put under. She prepares herself for what may be to come and falls asleep.