Friday, June 29, 2012

Doing it for myself

This is me. 29 years old, after 3 kids, 2 of them in less than 2 years and a miscarriage in between the 2. This is my "Before" picture. 172 lbs and 5'8" This is what I wont be again.
Im on day 3 of Insanity and everyday while Im pushing through the pain, sweat, inability to breathe, I think of my reasons Im doing this and I repeat them over and over to myself.
Im doing this:
So I dont have to wear 2 shirts or any shirt that could double as a flow-y maternity shirt to hide my stomach.
For the gap between my thighs and the V on my hips
For no muffin top
Because I will not have the excuse "Well I have had babies" I'm doing it BECAUSE I have babies and they deserve a mommy that plays with them, not watches from a chair.
For the Haters. For those people that think I can't or won't or that I will give up. The ones that think I'm not strong enough or dedicated enough.
Because I refuse to quit and give up on myself
Because everyday I have the eyes of a 4 year watching me stop, take a breath and make a choice to keep going when I think I can't go anymore. Parenting is mostly by example, I wont set the example that giving up when it hard is okay.
I feel amazing after I am dripping with sweat, barely breathing, red-faced, showering and lathering up my girly smelling soap. It reminds me I can kick ass and be feminine in the moment
So I dont have to wear a tankini and I can wear a bikini ;)
To make his jaw drop, so he whispers "wow" when he sees me, so we can live life together and not just talk about it from the couch.
Because today after only 3 days of pushing myself I achieved 2 goals and it proved to me it's worth it, and I CAN DO it.

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