Judgemental Mamas

I love being as earthy as I can be. I love being a mommy. I love reading and researching and making an educated choice for my family with my hubby by my side. But I cant be one of these "natural" moms that act so judgemental and I hope there are none of those on this board. Here's the things Ive encountered and its painful and frustrating.
There are some "hot topics" that I feel like even if I agree w the natural mommy side I see alot of natural moms that attack other moms and then make the other mamas feel bad by saying they aren't educated bc if they were they would OBVIOUSLY choose the same things. We don't always know someones situation or abilities to do certain things and if it works for them or not. We know certain things for sure. Smoking is bad it causes cancer, asthma etc. We shouldn't smoke during pregnancy or around our children. I was a long time smoker and gave it up for pregnancies and then finally to stay home, save money and be healthy. So I cant understand moms that smoke during pregnancy or around their kids. But I see breast feeders that attack women that cant breastfeed like its their fault, how does that help? How does that support motherhood solidarity? Attack for not cloth diapering.. I CD and love it but not everyone has the time and money for what comes along w that. I have CD my son since he was 3 months I finally had to break down and buy a pack of diaper a few weeks ago bc I was SO sick I haven't been able to keep up on regular chores let alone laundry. Vaccinations, homeschooling, ERF, circumcisions, co-sleeping, baby wearing etc. At what point is it OUR business to attack other parents for what works for them and what doesn't? I choose to eat organic I came to that choice after I found out my son is allergic to additives. I choose to babywear bc it makes my life easier, I choose to CD bc I save a ton of money, I choose not to beastfeed bc it was by far one of the worst experiences of my parenting life and thats saying alot, I was homeschooled and choose not to do it bc I dont feel like I am properly qualified. The list goes on and on. Its frustrating. Why do we assume these other parents are uneducated? Or selfish etc Why attack? I feel like if you are comfortable in your parenting and beliefs then you have nothing to defend and that should enable people to have civil conversations to see each others sides and points of view vs being ugly and defensive. Just wanted to get that out.